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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they were exhausted and went to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Holmes asked again.

Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

"Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.

"Timewise, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.

"Theologically, I can see that the Lord is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.

"Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes was silent for a moment, then spoke. "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent."

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Technorati tags: Humor

Who knew being a weatherman resulted in so much frustration and anger?

via ebaumsworld

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A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost.

He reduces height and spots a man down below.

He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's no use to anyone."

The man below says, "You must work in Management."

"I do," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help.

"You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."


And the moral of the story is: Don't talk to a guy who is hanging on an air balloon

Have a great weekend everyone.

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Technorati tags: Jokes Humor

ARISTOTLE

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

THE BIBLE

And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,"Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

BILL CLINTON

I did not cross the road with that chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?

EINSTEIN

Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

GRANDPA

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY

To die. In the rain.

SADDAM HUSSAIN

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK

To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

KARL MARX

It was a historical inevitability.

FOX MULDER

You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

RONALD REAGAN

What chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS

I missed one?

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Google has introduced their new Android cell phone platform, which is expected to bring big competition to the iPhone, but people are already starting to notice a few glitches with the new phone's features.

Specifically the Did-You-Mean feature:








via: CollegeHumor

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